SCHOOLS CAN SAVE LIVES

I believe there are SO many contributing factors as to why we see so many tragic events take place...not just in schools, but in movie theaters, in homes...in plain sight. Rather than pointing fingers or raising concerns about things such as gun laws, I rather talk about A SOLUTION. After giving it thought each time we have a traumatic shooting massacre in our country or teenage suicide, I believe that schools are one of the biggest solutions to the problems - schools can save lives!

Times change, people change, customs changes, and therefore, we need to change with them. Growing up, not every mom worked. Today, a majority of households have two working parents. A majority of households have only one parent. Perhaps there are even numbers of households that do not have a set standard of values that our parents once held. Perhaps some parents do not have the means to parent. Perhaps a single mom has to work nights to save her family's home and feed her children. Time for parenting is lost.

Teachers are incredible human beings. They dedicate their lives to grow children. I have the pleasure of knowing some of the greatest teachers who have hearts of gold and caring souls! What I've learned is that when you sign up to be a teacher, you are not signing up just to teach a class, but to nurture children. YOU become the part-time mom and dad to an entire classroom. Some of the children may not require this luxury, but often times, a lot of them do. So, with that, I hope that all teachers embrace that position and realize that yes, they are ARE making differences in the lives of children and teenagers...and they need to keep in mind that what they do can effect their lives greatly!

Now I don't know about you, but I remember dreading having to be pulled out of class one by one to go to the nurse for hearing tests, eye exams, and that once a year "wear-a-bathing-suit-to-school-day" so that spines could be checked for Scoliosis. Sure, these are all part of a child's development and it's wonderful to have these or have had these exams take place in the school. What I never seen implemented though was a mental exam. Granted, there are guidance counselors available and I commend them, but I believe that in the year 2012 going on 2013, we need more than just guidance counselors in our schools who are available to reach out to. I believe that there must be laws in tact where there are certified psychologists who DO pull ALL children out of class one by one at least a few times a year to assess them mentally and check in to their MENTAL development as well as their physical development. I'm not just talking about elementary schools, but middle schools, and most importantly high schools! I DO believe that teachers should be trained to look for particular behaviors of certain "brain" diseases - things like depression, anxiety, aspergers, autism, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and so forth! Teachers should be paid more money for including that in to their list of daily duties, but that's a discussion for another time. I'm sure though, that it's not too difficult to have a teacher compile a list of the children in his or her classroom and possibly help to identify some patterns and behaviors that they see in their children which can serve as a guide to aid a psychologist who can then assess the children. Things like this NEED to be done!

What angers me are articles I read AFTER tragedies occur when gunmen or murderers are remembered as "the weird kid", "the quiet kid", "the kid who didn't have many friends", "the shy kid", "the troubled kid". My question is...if you are able to "label" them now...why couldn't you HELP them back then? 

Maybe there are plain evil people in the world, but I also believe that a lot of  this so called "evil" often stems from a disorder in the brain or the way a child's life was molded. I wonder over and over again why more is not done to bring awareness to mental illness, why more research is not done, why we disregard mental illness instead of helping those suffering from it. I think a lot of it is due to the stigma mental illness carries. Mental Illness should not carry a stigma! It is a DISEASE just like diabetes is a disease. One cannot help that they have a problem. One should be treated for their illness. You wouldn't take a kid who has diabetes and constantly put candy in front of him, would you? What if you didn't know he had diabetes and you kept handing him candy? Wouldn't you want to know NOT to feed the child sugar? Wouldn't you want knowledge on how to help care for this child? Wouldn't you want to help this child before it was too late? Why is that child with diabetes different than a child with a mental disorder? Wouldn't you want to identify a disease that an innocent child has? Wouldn't you want knowledge on how to help care for this child? Wouldn't you want to help this child before it was too late?

Open your eyes, world! Take the stigma away from Mental Illness! Help treat it and defeat it so that those children do not grow up to take lives...including their own. Help to treat it so that these problems are not masked or that these sufferers do not self-medicate with alcohol and drugs. I know that I personally would have trouble sleeping at night knowing that a young adult suffered years of torture in his or her mind that could have been treated if someone just spoke up and got them some help. Put the help IN schools. Do not leave it up to the parents. Parents have a hard time coming to terms that their children may have a stigmatized "problem". Parents rather run from that than help their child because it is not of the norm. But yes, it has become of the norm!

Children are always the future and the future depends on how they are taught and cared for. Schools are where children spend most of their lives, so why not let the schools save lives?!

The "Magic" of the Elf via Ryan's Quest

Words written from a mother on her son...Help make this season magical!

The "Magic" of the Elf It all started the night of Thanksgiving...our little elf named Elfie arrives for his traditional holiday visit. It's amazing how this "magical" creature can capture the heart of little boys and girls around the world in such an amazing way. This little elf has become such a part of our holiday traditions, as it is probably what the boys look forward to most in the days leading up to Santa's visit. In addition to our other dynamic elf duo "Jingles & Jangles", Elfie consumes every spare thought in Ryan's mind as he searches for clues of their whereabouts each morning, asks millions of questions about "elf history", writes them letters of thanks, and speaks to them when no one in the house is watching. As I watch my children's eyes fill with wonder and belief that all things are possible, there is just something so hopeful that comes over me. While Dave and I remain positive that our prayers will somehow be answered, it's strange how this season gives me greater hope that maybe a little bit of "magic" could bring us our Christmas Miracle. As I help Elfie to find his special place each night...I think of the smiles, laughter, and memories that my boys will hold with them forever of this wonderful holiday tradition... I think of how grateful I am that God has given me the two most precious gifts in Ryan and Mason...And yes...at times I think of asking Elfie to bring Santa a request for my one and only Christmas wish...a cure for Ryan. Perhaps, one night as your hand reaches out to your elf, you may do the same. Dave and I would like to thank you for sharing in our hope and standing  beside us in this fight over the past five years. We are truly closer than ever before to a suitable treatment in the Duchenne field. Please continue to fight with us...by either donating or spreading the word. Help us keep the mission of Ryan's Quest alive. To make a donation, please go to www.ryansquest.org

Gone, Back, and Not Forgotten

Well, I've been away from blogging for a while now as I was taking care of my mother who had suffered 20 months of cancer and is in our hearts and memories down here, but an angel now up in heaven. I do want to eventually post a lot of information and inspiration from her/our journey that might help others as I documented it. In the meantime, I'm getting back to blogging because I have LOTS to say haha and I'll begin with a poem I wrote back during Hurricane Sandy as I lay next to her hospital bed after she underwent emergency brain surgery for the second time. 

Mom I'm so proud of you for fighting so hard and being so strong
I'm sure you prolonged your life by at least a year and a half long
We got to have TWO extra summers together down the shore
Funny how the shore is no

t there anymore
I should've known this year that something wasn't right
You were too weak to walk, but yet continued to fight
Then we got the news - your cancer spread to your brain
And without hesitation you battled head on again
The hell that you suffered and anxiety that you bound
Seemed somewhat minute just to keep you around
I prayed for miracles - many of us did
And I'm pretty sure we got them as you received more time to live
This time things are different and I know it's so
Because problems are becoming greater and it's starting to show
All along I've been praying and begging God for your life
But now I feel selfish and like I'm causing you strife
I know you don't want to leave us
and we don't wan't you to ever
But we love you too much
to watch you not get better
It's not your fault and we thank you for trying
But it's almost impossible to live
When you're actually dying
God must need you in heaven and we must keep faith alive
To know if He takes you we'll again be by your side
You're too precious for this world that to you is often cruel
An angel doesn't need to struggle at all like you do
You've taught us so much by being the most amazing mother
And you've given me all you had...you even gave me a precious brother
The amount of love that you've shared cannot be touched
You loved all with an open heart and everyone loved you back so very much
I don't have the words to thank you, but hope I've shown you with my heart
That's why I swore I'd never leave your side from the very start
This new journey we encountered, like everything else, we made it through
With lots of laughs and togetherness and we just did what we had to do
We actually made fun of cancer
We walked through it hand in hand
Probably something so outlandish
Only we could understand
It was our very special way though
And I'm grateful we had the time
It's made so many memories
that are truly one of a kind
Not sure what lies ahead now, but I think I'll soon stop playing tug of war with the lord
I thought my love could keep you here forever, but to see you this way is something you don't afford
I always knew you were extra special and not meant for this place
But I'm so grateful you've been with me this long and I'll comtinue to keep my
faith
I already know deep in my heart I must have a job that needs to be done
And when I am finished, you and I will go back to having fun
So dear God please bless my mother and do not take her yet
But when she has had enough please be sure by you she's met

And now I can finish that poem with...

God met my mom at 9:56pm on December 1st. May she finally rest in peace and be so full of happiness that she deserves more than anyone!!! I love you mom and will keep you alive in my heart with every breath I take!!!